Multiply Variety in a Wilderness of Custards?

Although, like the universal world, I am on Twitter, I don’t usually post my tweets here. For one thing, some of them are parts of particular conversations that don’t make much sense without a context (e.g. “BUT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME! #ihateyourguts”). Others are things I post here or on Facebook anyway. And I have my LiveJournal post automatically a message to Twitter when there’s an update–so if I automatically posted my tweets to LiveJournal, wouldn’t that be like crossing the streams, creating an information Narcisso-catastrophe that could destroy the internet? I’m not willing to take the risk.

But one of these Twitteriffic memebursts broke out last Friday: Poetry Improved by Custard. Some of them made me laugh, and then I scribbled out a few that made me laugh, and I copy them here in the shy and tender hope that they might make you at least smile. Some of them are so obvious that they occurred to other people (e.g. the Ginsberg one) but a couple of these approached retweetability.

And of Orlando I will also tell / things unattempted yet in custard rhyme #PoetryImprovedbyAddingCustard

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite custardity. #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by custard. #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

Custard does more than Milton can / to justify God’s ways to man. #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

The custard’s lovely, dark and deep / but I have promises to keep #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

Come live with me and be my custard! #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard #whymarlowewasstabbed

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “Custard, again?” #PoetryImprovedbyAddingCustard

Custard alone has looked on Beauty bare. #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

Push off and, sitting well in order, smite the sounding custards. #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog’s eye NOW WITH EXTRA ADDED CUSTARD #poetryimprovedbyaddingcustard #ormaybenot

About JE

James Enge is the author of the World-Fantasy-Award-nominated novel Blood of Ambrose (Pyr, April 2009). His latest book is The Wide World's End. His short fiction has appeared in Swords and Dark Magic (Harper Collins, 2010), Black Gate, the Stabby-Award-winning anthology Blackguards and elsewhere.
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