Explode for Entertainment Purposes Only!

Here’s a robot piano accompanying a human player on an electric cello. Somehow that sounds like America to me.

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Last Night at the Movies

I was working on a salvage ship among Saturn’s moons.

Sharks in Space! etc.

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Of Deadlines and Chili Dogs

Apologies for my silence here, lately. There were complications of a pretty harsh sort toward the end of the Italy trip, then the journey home, then jetlag, then my deadline for Blood of Ambrose, more or less jumbled up on top of each other.

Now, at least, I’m home, typing on my beloved but ailing eMac. The jetlag is fading–and I miss it a little, because it’s one of the few things (apart from some sort of narcotic) which enable me to sleep eight hours a night. However, like a narcotic, it has tendency to screw with the clarity of my speech and thought, so I’m probably better off without it. Probably.

Also, I just sent the final text of Blood of Ambrose off to my editor. As synchronicity would have it, Thelonious Monk’s version of “Nice Work If You Can Get It” was playing on iTunes as I hit the “send” button. (But maybe “Don’t Quit Your Day-Job” is the phrase I should be keeping in mind.)

And now off for a celebratory chili dog.

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Noisy Flowers, Mild Dogs, Dead Looters

We went down to Pompeii and Naples this weekend.‭ ‬

What I Did On My Summer Non-Vacation, Part MDXCCIV

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Morlock Booked

Okay, now it can be told (since my brilliant agent Mike Kabongo, a.k.a. onyxhawke, already has): I’ve signed a deal with Pyr Books for a Morlock novel, Blood of Ambrose, which is due out Spring 2009.

That makes for a quick deadline. So, as you can imagine, when I’m not taking pictures of tremendous feat or floating face down in Tiber-sized streams of Chinotto Neri, I’m busy revising the final text of the Morlock novel, working steadily on the sequel and trying to do some dreaming and drafting on the second sequel.

This wasn’t how I thought I’d be spending the next year or so–but that’s not a complaint. You know the Weird Al song, “Everything You Know Is Wrong”? It can be a great feeling to realize you were completely mistaken about something.

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Two Quick Things

I just wanted to post something here to let people know I wasn’t floating face down in the Tiber. Things are going well, but my internet connections remain chancy and tend to be available during the day when I’m busy running around doing other stuff. Then there’s the colorful side-events, like the other night when I was busy tapping out an e-mail while sitting on a bench in the Villa Borghese. A guy sat down next to me and asked me for a cigarette; I told him I didn’t smoke and took no more notice of him until I saw that he was taking his clothes off. I’m not sure whether he was signalling to me that he considered the bench his bed or whether he was preparing to pay me the Ultimate Compliment, but either way it seemed like getting the hell out of there was Plan A. So I’m afraid my signoff for that email may have been a little abrupt…

Anyway, the two things.

1. Chinotto Neri is one of the best soft-drinks in the annals of softdrinking. I have no idea what it is made from; some derivative of smack, it would seem. I’ve refrained from mainlining the stuff only because I have no taste-buds in my arm. (Anymore.) Its only serious rival, in my view, is the Vernor’s of my youth. The Vernor’s of today is a pallid thing, which one can drink without feeling the slightest burning sensation. In ancient days a bottle of Vernor’s would raise your core temperature five degrees and, if it were a hot day, you’d have to be rushed to the hospital. Chinotto Neri is totally different, but if I keep I keep slamming the stuff down I may end up in some sort of treatment facility, if not actually a hospital.

2. Lou Anders, intrepid editor at Pyr, is teaming up with Jonathan Strahan to produce a massive sword-and-sorcery anthology on the magnitude of the already-iconic New Space Opera. Lou blogs about it here, and Jonathan Strahan here. So it looks like big things are in store for fans of the genre. Big things [he repeated, as if the phrase were freighted with some hidden meaning, glistening with dark mystery like a dewy bottle of Chinotto Neri straight out of the fridge].

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Bigfoot Revealed!

Sorry I’ve been so silent lately. I made it to Rome, as the picture below should reveal… provided I can get LiveJournal to display it. (The LiveJournal interface seems a bit glitchy on my Linux-flavor of Firefox.)

I kept seeing people around town taking pictures of themselves in heroic poses in front of the Colosseum and other monuments, but I didn’t see the point unless I could do something funny. And somehow the images of these fragmentary feet (from the monumental statue of Constantine I in the Capitoline Museums) peering over my shoulder struck me as kind of amusing. (There’s another one here, for those who can’t get enough of this sort of thing.)

Alternate titles for this entry:

“Vootshtaps! Vootshtaps!”

“Smells like feet in here.”

“Kickin’ Out the Toe-Jams!”

etc.

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Monstrous

Here’s a short top-ten list I wrote for Return of the Sword‘s virtual book tour–a project I somehow lost track of as April got weirder and more intense. So this may have appeared elsewhere in the blogosphere recently, but I don’t think so. I thought I’d put it up here as I’ll be travelling for a couple of days and I may not otherwise have a chance to bleaken your life this week.

A nice review of RotS went up recently at the revivified The Fix.

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More and better monsters: that’s what today’s heroic fantasy needs. Here are ten top monsters from the field’s past–but not necessarily the top ten monsters. Heroic fantasy is, or was, packed with these beasties and everyone will have their own favorites.

Why monsters? Well, the monster and the hero identify each other, illuminate each other. One primal identity of the hero is someone who kills a monster. But a good hero is not just a faceless bronzed figure with a Pointed Stick who wades in and smites the Partly Rugose Partly Squamous Thing That Ate Schenectady: he or she is someone with a distinctive personality. And a good antagonist tells us something about the protagonist–what the hero’s weaknesses are, what the hero’s hopes are, what the hero has lost and can lose. Heroic actions may be in the realm of the superhuman, but monsters can highlight a hero’s humanity–and inner monstrosity.

Besides, they’re fun and as fantasy becomes more epic and sweeping, the more it concentrates on antagonists who are more or less human, or at least aren’t monstrous. For my purposes, monsters are broken or displaced beings who harm others (and possibly themselves).

I’m drawing all my examples from before 1970. It’s partly arbitrary, but 1970 was a watershed year for heroic fantasy: Fritz Leiber’s “Ill Met in Lankhmar” was published in F&SF and went on to win the Nebula and Hugo. From then on things would be different (better in some ways, worse in others).

The order is completely arbitrary (i.e. the order I thought of them in).

Smaug from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Some might quibble about whether the book is heroic fantasy or not: as has often been observed, the hero is a little guy with fuzzy feet who keeps daydreaming about tea-time back home. Never mind. There has to be a dragon on this list and (unless we go back to Beowulf’s or Sigurd’s dragon), Smaug is the iconic dragon in English literature. He’s a cunning, deadly and ruthlessly determined thief… just like the supposed “good guys.”

Belion from Roger Zelazny’s Isle of the Dead. Like much of Zelazny’s work, this is a dark heroic fantasy with a brittle candy coating of science fiction. It has its flaws, including some painfully hip internal monologue. (Did he really say, “Forgive me my trespasses, baby”? Yes, he did.) But Belion’s systematic acquisition of all the hero’s hopes and fears makes for a shattering conflict when man and monster finally meet.

Thak the ape-man from Robert E. Howard’s “Rogues in the House.” Howard had a weird thing about apelike men (or manlike apes): they recur frequently in his stories. But Thak is in a different category. Even Conan insists, after the inevitable battle, “I have slain a man tonight, not a beast.” I could have filled this list with REH monsters: he dreamed in very dark shades of technicolor.

The gebbeth from Ursula Le Guin’s A Wizard of Earthsea. No swords in this fantasy, and the magic is mostly of a contemplative sort. Until it turns on you without a face and hunts you through a northern wilderness. Then it gets a little weird.

The mantichore in E.R. Eddison’s The Worm Ouroboros. The mantichore fight is relatively brief, but it’s a crucial point in one of the great mountain-climbs in fantasy (rivalled only by Leiber’s “Stardock”).

The Gibbelins in Lord Dunsany’s “The Hoard of the Gibbelins.” They eat, as is well-known, nothing less good than man, and if I go on much longer my description will be wordier than this knifelike, wonderfully grim story.

The rats in Fritz Leiber’s The Swords of Lankhmar. Leiber was another monster-crazy writer (finding them in mothers, girls, ghosts, fathers, birds, houses, cities, numbers, advertising, books: you name it, he monstrified it), but I think the rats are his monsterpiece. The civilization of Lankhmar Below is creepy precisely because it’s not so different from Lankhmar Above… except that it’s better run.

Kaththea Tregarth from Andre Norton’s Warlock of the Witch World. Heroes merge with monsters in this early Witch World novel.

Chun the Unavoidable from Jack Vance’s “Liane the Wayfarer.” The “hero” himself is one of Vance’s best villains and the monster, a sort of collector, is all the more disturbing because Vance describes him with a few elliptical yet telling details.

The King from Under the Hill in Michael Moorcock’s “Kings in Darkness.” Arioch may strike me down with lightning for saying this, but I’m not crazy about many of the later additions to the Elric saga. This is one of the better early stories, though, and Elric finds out something about himself and his iconic weapon in fighting against the Hill-King and his undead minions.

So there you go. When you’re making your fantasy world, don’t forget to add a fistful of monsters. They may darken the landscape, but they can brighten up a story.

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Genrenomics!

Paul Krugman shows his genre street cred with shout outs to Charles Stross and other writers of sf where the science is that dismal one. I think he’s right about Beyond This Horizon, too–not one of RAH’s greatest hits.

An old paper of Krugman’s about interstellar trade was making the rounds a month or two ago, so I guess this should be no surprise.

Now all the movement needs is a manifesto and some abusive squeaky snarklings willing to do battle on its behalf.

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Universe R+1 Etc.

bg_editor had a great post recently, which provoked a fascinating comment thread, about Universe R, a parallel timeline where certain works that didn’t survive in our world remain intact, and where works that didn’t get made in our world (but should have) somehow were created. The best thing about the discussion was reading other people’s idea of work-that-should-have-been–all of that stuff I never would have thought of, but seemed so great (like REH and JRRT collaborating on a series about Strider). My Universe R interests me, naturally, but far more fascinating were the Universes R of other people: R+1, R+2, and so one.

Every now and then I’m startled to realize that this universe is that universe (at least some of the time). Exhibit A: Le Guin’s new novel Lavinia. (Salon.com has a review of the book here–cookies must be enabled, unless you’re a Salon subscriber.) In it Le Guin envisions the end and aftermath of Vergil’s Aeneid from the point of view of Lavinia, over whom the wars in the second part of the epic are fought. And apparently without revisionist hostility (of the kind that darkens Bradley’s The Firebrand).

Vergil and Le Guin both loom pretty large in my personal Pantheon of writers (Panpoeton?) but I never would have imagined their careers crossing paths like this. Looks like the bag I’m packing for Italy is going to be one book heavier than I’d planned…

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